“You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets, and uneventful nice days.” – Alain de Botton

This has been an excruciating journal entry to put onto paper and share with you here. I think the reason why it’s so difficult is because of all the raw emotions. They float up to the surface in my mind when I think of what the last several years have had in store for us. To put it simply, it was hard. Extremely hard. But on the other side of the same coin, it was good. It grew us in ways I would have never guessed and it has put life into a completely different perspective. It has changed how I view everything, and it has changed me as a person. I hope for the better.

To share pictures of this part of our life, is to be transparent and vulnerable. We built a vast amount of this project ourselves. We had wonderful contractors that we worked along side of, and they taught James skills that he will be able to use the rest of his life. I thought of only showing part of the story, but that would be to rob us of the true benefit of this building project. We built a home, but the home changed us. I think that is the more important part.

This endeavor began in September of 2022 when we purchased our land. We had our 5th wheel parked on the property and our dog barn delivered from our previous home. James and I quickly built a temporary elevated puppy run off the back of the barn and created a large run for the adult dogs. Everyone had a good place to sleep and room to move around. It was time to begin.

The 30 acres has one field that wasn’t visible from the street. After exploring the whole property before purchasing, we decided that the field was the most suitable place to build. The property has two creeks, and is sandwiched between hundreds of acres of cow pasture and woods on one side, and a vast private hunting/shooting club sitting on hundreds of acres on the other side. The Catawba river flows nearby our property, a 15 minute walk through the woods will get you there. When days grew too hot during construction we would literally go down to the river to cool off. On the very rare day that we took a day off of working on the house, we would bring our inflatable kayaks and go down the river. I still remember our first night on the property. I fell asleep looking at the stars that hung above the pines. It was wonderful.

That September, we began the painstaking process of removing the scraps of metal and junk that had built up in the field of the property by the previous owner. Trailer load after trailer load, we hauled the garbage to the landfill. I lost count of how many loads we took. Simultaneously, we began clearing the trees, blackberry bracken, and so many muscadine vines! We needed to prep the construction site for building. It was during this time that we discovered that our property had once been a homestead around the 1930’s. We found peach trees, a plum tree, pear trees, an apple tree, and a hand dug well!

The field was now cleared, the heaps of garbage were hauled off, and the site was muddy and bare. We couldn’t wait for the concrete to be poured. It was now late November, the rain began. The winter of 2022 was not a freezing season, but rather a constantly wet and cold winter. The construction site had to be dry at least for a few days before the concrete could be poured. It rained for a solid twelve weeks straight, constantly delaying the construction process. This is when I began to learn a valuable lesson in patience and making plans but plan on it not going to my plans. It was discouraging. Several times our concrete man was to come out due to a break in the weather, just for the rain to begin again. Finally, in mid-February of 2023, the rain subsided and construction officially began.

The concrete slab was finished and the frame work was ready to begin. In hindsight, this was the most fun and satisfactory part of the project. Framing was completed and we were dried in within a month. The speed in which the framing was completed gave us a false sense of timing. Neither of our families built homes, construction was very new for James and me.

We thought after framing, it would only be about six months until we could take our sentimental belongings and Alayna’s toys out of storage. We were wrong. It would be a year and two months after framing that we would be able to move in.

Once framing was completed and we were dried in, we began on electrical and plumbing. We worked along side contractors for these projects too. While we worked around their schedule, we began installing the siding on the outside of the home. I did not know what a soffit or I-joist were or how big a septic field actually was. But I do now!

Inspections were highly anticipated days, they pushed us forward to completing tasks as soon as we could. But we were starting to slow down. We were tired! The month was now July of 2023, almost a year after we closed on the land. James was working night shift, driving home at 6:00am in the morning. He would sleep only four hours and then get up and put in several hours of work before packing up and going back to work. He did this for months on end. He would take a nap in a parking lot half way home to make it safely home. I have always been proud of James, but this is where he leveled up big time. I still am speechless trying to put into words the depth of the pride I feel for my spouse. It was hard. The magic of the building progress and 5th wheel living was starting to die.

But nothing will motivate you to work harder than finding out that you are pregnant! lol We now had a timeline that we were shooting for with all our might. Our sweet little one was going to meet us in March of 2024 and it was now August of 2023. We wanted to bring her home, not to our now overcrowded 5th wheel. By December, the baby bump was showing and we were raising drywall panels every day. I had decided to give birth naturally at an amazing birthing center. The exercise was really helpful to prepare me for the natural laboring process. The rooms began to take shape. But we were exhausted and quickly running out of steam and hope. James and I were at an all time low. It had been 16 months since the project started, the end still didn’t seem like it could be in site. That was a heavy Christmas, but we tried to make is special for Alayna. It felt that on my low days James would encourage me, and when James had a bad day, I would do the same for him. But as married couples know, there will be times when neither can pick up the other. That is when the world feels darkest. During this time I cried on James and said I didn’t know how we would ever be able to finish. Our savings were tied into the build, we couldn’t just give up and we weren’t going to give up. There was nothing to distract myself with either. I was too tired to read, there was minimal decorating for holidays, no shopping for clothes or special things that just bring joy, no desire to dream or plan for the future( it felt too far away), no comforts of a traditional home, and no time or space for hobbies to enjoy on the side. Did I mention is was a dark time? lol It was during this phase of the build when family stepped in and began to rally around us. Friends of my parents also joined in, they would travel from out of town for these weekend trips to help us get to our goal. I’m tearing up while typing this. I will never forget the kindness that our family and friends were to us in those moments. Spoiler alert, this is were I learned that having a solid tribe of insanely wonderful people is one of the most powerful resources you can have in this life.

These visits from friends and family propelled us six months down the construction timeline in a matter of weeks. Teamwork truly does make the dream work. It was now the beginning of February of 2024, my due date was rapidly approaching. It was at this moment that my best friend from high school and my mom hosted the most beautiful baby shower for us. Hope was coming back into our lives. They treated me like a queen.

We were ticking off the final steps to meet the requirements for final inspection. We were about two to three weeks out to passing inspection and having power turned on. March 11th was like any other day on the construction site. I began my day as I alway did by working with our sweet dogs. I would then join James in the house to work on that day’s to do list. Something felt off, and I couldn’t settle. I kept myself busy. Our friend Scott had come over to help James with the final room of drywalling. I had them stop what they were doing to install the carseat. I couldn’t get that off my mind. I finally finished the dresser that I had to finish before the baby arrived. It was more of a personal challenge. James said I wouldn’t finish it before the baby arrived. I did, by the skin of my teeth! At 10:50pm that evening we were in route to the birthing center! Our sweet Felina Rose was born just a few minutes past midnight, only 45 minutes after we were checked in!

We did end up bringing her home to our 5th wheel, but it the was most perfect timing. James went on paternity leave for the next month and continued the work while I rested with Felina. Those were very sweet memories. We cuddled and cuddled some more. We listened to almost every season of the Great British Baking Show Netflix has to offer and the sun was beginning to come out. Spring was a week away.

Just a few weeks after delivering her, we finally passed final inspection. We were ready for power! The power company came the next day, and due to a fluke, so did a whole squad of emergency vehicles and first responders! There had been a call that someone had been electrocuted, thank goodness they were wrong. James was fine. But we had to joke that we couldn’t even get our power turned on without something crazy happening.

The day had arrived, we were going to move in!! Twenty months of blood, sweat, and tears had paid off. The storage units were emptied and friends came to help deliver the boxes. My mom stayed with us and held Felina as Alayna as I opened up our sweet belongings that we had missed for two years. Favorite toys, grandma’s dishes, family albums, my books (my books are my friends, I love my books!) were all there! It was a very exciting day! It took about a month of unpacking and settling in for it to feel like home. The first night we stayed in our house for the first time, it felt like we were staying in an airb&b since it was all so new. It didn’t feel like it was ours yet. But again, I fell asleep staring at the stars out of the massive windows in our bedroom. It was very exciting and sweet.

During James’ paternity leave we continued to work on the house. We fixed up our 5th wheel and sold it. We had acquired so many tools while building that we purchased a more conducive size barn for our needs and sold the old one. James took a week to thin the trees around the house with a Skid Stear and grass began to grow in the front yard. Things were starting to come together.

It has been a year since we moved in. It has become home. Our pictures hang on the walls, Alayna’s toys are on the floor, and I have small piles of books around the house. The sunsets are stunning, and there is freedom in owning land. Being out from underneath such a colossal project still makes me sigh with relief. I would NEVER want to do it again. But I’m beyond thankful for the lessons it’s taught me, the friendships it’s strengthen, and an appreciation I have for my Creator has escalated to a whole new level. We still have a to-do list a mile long, but we have a lot of dreams for this 30 acres. We are doing it slowly now and one project at a time. I can’t wait to share this dream of ours with the future clients of PM. I can’t wait to show you my home.

XX,